Southeast Asia 2005

i aint 21 anymore

2005-07-22T07:06:00.000-07:00

perhaps some of you out there will be relieved to know that i did not in fact, toss myself into the sea. well, that's not entirely true; the sea tossed me in. as we reached our beach front bungalow of heavenly proportions, the sea beckoned. it whispered out, "sarah, come hither, i shall not knock out any more your teeth". i wiggled on my bikini and strode down to the waters edge. i scouted out the best possible entry point and waded out with confidence. as the water lapped at my body, it was calm, soothing even, i had at long last found the gentle nature i have been seeking. i floated around aimlessly, eventually got scared by a floating plastic bag and scurried to shore. (looking confident of course).
day two: same idea, but the waves had seemed to have gotten dramatically bigger, angrier even. no problem, i think to myself, other people (including rody) seemed to be enjoying the waves, i too am a confident swimmer and this is no pacific ocean any how. i crashed fearfully through the waves and promptly sucked in a cup or two of seawater and what i refer to as 'M.O.T.S.' (material other than seawater). "i am one with the ocean! just go with it" is my mantra dejure. i press on into the crashing waves chest deep before i realize that i, like other the small children on the beach should definitely have deployed arm floaties before entering the water!
i let myself half walk, half smash gracelessly to shore as i am thinking to myself,"where have the glory days of my youth gone???? where along life's path have i lost that adventurous edge i once prided myself on? this isn't me! i, i, i have become a wwww...wimp!
what time does to one's priorities is truly compelling and equally confounding. i know the obvious reasons of course; its dangerous, the thrill is outweighed by the risk. but dammit all if those thrills weren't fun back the my glory days of fearlessness!
so i spent the next several days basking in the sun (on the beach), painting, reading and contemplating life's bigger questions, like, "why do the nails on my right foots toes grow faster than those on my left?" truly an unsolved mystery.
we are now in saigon where i find the millions of speeding motor bikes much less intimidating than mui ne's waves. confusing even to me? yes. but i guess i would much rather get run down by a crazy motor bike than get eaten by a plastic bag in the sea. go ahead, i tell you, call me a freak, but it comes down to the simple fact that i am a land living hominid (and i have seen the movies "JAWS" 1, 2 and 3).
on a positive note, rody and i love vietnam. the people here are raw and forward, they take and give insult freely. today alone, an old man reached out and pawed at me with his grimy foot, ( a HUGE insult in vietnam), rody got called "cheap charlie" by a four year old boy (an astute young lad) and people openly laugh in our faces for no apparent reason. on the other hand, they are friendly, inviting and funny as comedians.
we visited the "reunification" palace and the war museum, the latter so deeply disturbing it left me in a puddle of tears. how does one adequately put emotions into a description of the pain and the horror? i cant seem to do so, as it has left me speechless, uttering only, "so sad...why? and will it ever end?" men with their big ideas and their big egos have done a lot of damage. i find myself thinking often about how women fit into this "his-story" of ours and how we can change things for the better.
my plan you ask?
women: all the world over, lets create an irrefutable area for negotiations; lets hold a sex out! absolutely no sex until men find a way to stop their tendencies towards violence!
i have been doing my own informal research on this topic and unfortunately, it only seems to make things worse!
i also have the idea of putting a large quantity of ecstasy in the water systems all across the world to induce a permanent state of love and euphoria...this one doesn't seem to get much positive feedback.
any ideas?
P.S. no offence to men out there, i know that most are peace loving, gentle men that would never use violence to seek power or revenge.

cheap charlie

2005-07-22T06:59:00.000-07:00

the peddlers and street kids of saigon have given me my official nickname: 'cheap charlie.' unlike the laid back folk of westside southeast asia, the vietnamese are in constant business mode. ...but little do they know, im one mean halfbreed of business stock. so when the bargaining begins, the boonchouy wheels and deals with vigor. doesnt take long to figure out how they work- for example, the struttin fruit lady with her conical hat and balanacing shoulder bamboo baskets demands two dollars for half a pineapple. so i offer her five cents instead. and with an admonishing glare that would brand me into eternal damnation, she spits a viscious NO! YOU CHEAP CHARLIE! and as she storms away, i say 'alright alright... seven cents.' she slowly turns with a mishevious smile and the deal is made. this farang knows his pineapples.

mui ne was five days of seaside bliss. sarah and i lounged on our private beach front bungalow and read the days away- between each chapter we'd go for a swim; every two chapters we'd reapply sunscreen. despite our neighbor, the drunken frenchman (who staggered through the streets stepping on broken bottles and leaving bloody footprints in the road), we found ourselves in the sacred zone of relaxation for which vacations were made. every morning, breakfast was served to our little sandy porch, and we finished our coffee while watching the tide go out with the rising sun. the northern breeze would sporadically bring a biting wave of fish broth (most of the world's fish sauce comes from mui ne's fish factories). i would salivate, and sarah would nauseously force an accepting smile. what a trooper!
at the beginning of the trip, we were adamant about immersing ourselves in the local delicacies ('when in vietnam, do as the vietnamese'). but... this was no longer the beginning of the trip and we were craving some real yankee grub. we found a bamboo lean-to that served real pizza with real cheese. got my fix; so im happy again with the squid and octopus. i think sarah continues to secretly long for the comforts of the western dish- she murmurs 'cheese cheeeeese' in her sleep.

we were lucky to spend this time on the sleepy coast of southern vietnam; in a few years it will certainly be exploited by the demands for new rivieras and ostentatious resorts.

saigon: ive always been fascinated with this swindling, bustling metropolis... and we entered with raised dukes, confident smirks and gentle scowls. like martin sheen in 'apocolypse now,' i envisioned myself confined to a dingy slum, punching mirrors with bloody fists while the ceiling fan spun in rythm to huey choppers - an american doomed and powerless to flawed political maneuvering in the far east. but... sarah checked us in at the multi-star oriental express hotel. we're talking clean sheets and towels (changed everyday), satallite TV (to watch london get blown up), and even a mini-fridge (which i stock with beer from the local mini-mart for half the price). sarah is keeping cheap charlie from sleeping in the gutter.

though the vietnam war has always been an intriguing era for my generation, seeing the realities firsthand is changing me. i realize war is an inevitable part of human civilization, but anybody with a conscience or any sense of morality cant witness the consequences and feel a spasm of pacifism. we spent today at the "war remnants" museum for a hands-on realia, photographic, historical summary of the 'conflict.' 3 million vietnamese and 58 thousand american killed... for hours i walked alone through the halls of weapons and pictures of mangled bodies. sarah had enough and tearfully waited on a bench outside. there was a somber silence among the throngs of introspective foreigners. the details of tragedy became meaningless in the cloud of desensitivity. there was no overt anti-americanism, but there was profound condemnation of War... and the whatever reasons for it. of course, we'll always be able to justify this kind of mass murder, but it will still never never make sense.

on a lighter note, today i bought myself two silk shirts and a jungle hat. for dinner i had squid and rice. after the meal, i got into a lengthy discussion with the restaurant proprieter on how to improve business, how to attract farangs. the problem, i told him, was all the dang motor bikes blocking the entrance. piles of motorbikes are common, but the farang needs an open ambiance to welcome his or her eyes to consumption. he immediately shoveled the mopeds away, and WALLAH! the western white folk eased from their calloused shells and meandered their way to the menus for the catch. (i didnt charge the guy for a commision- just a simple gesture of good ole american capitalist ingenuity)

things i will never forgive...i mean forget.

2005-07-17T05:58:00.000-07:00

ahoy out there,
wow, its been a long couple of weeks.
so, picture this:
we are at the bangkok airport in line to check in at vietnam airlines,
hoards of natives are riding up our asses with rolling carts carrying their boxed up toaster ovens, microwaves and tropical fruits, pushing us all forward like we are in the pit of a metallica concert. this one young british woman is about to be the first fatality of this stampede when a man turns to her and says, "is this your first time traveling to vietnam?" she looks at him with fearful curiosity as he mouths the sage advice, "get used to it". alas, this was our introduction to vietnam. the people here number 80 million and one often must do battle to get down or, across the streets.
hanoi, bustling as it may be, is indeed a beautiful city; french colonial architecture meets rice patty hats with a beautiful symbiosis. so we took a day to tour and got the heck out!
next was halong bay, we booked a three day tour with a couple of energetic young men, binn and duongz (pronounced ben and zong). the pictures on the brochure looked relaxing yet invigorating. seeing wild vietnam without truly having to touch it (if you know what i mean)! so we get on a "junk" a type of boat common in these parts and away we go. and go and go and go. these two dapper young lads had us kayaking, hiking, swimming, listening closely to the history of vietnam and generally exerting undue energy from early dawn until after dark. yes, true enough it was beautiful and there is so much to see, but can i have a minute to just sit and ponder the wonder of these ancient cliffs? no. not on this tour! my personal favorite was on the second day, a brave few remaining after day one, were going off to trek in the jungle. We took a small, rickety boat, floated away from the safety of the big junk, where in which we were dropped off on a small island that columbus himself would have found formidable. the sounds alone were disquieting to my mind along with the fact that there was no trail to be seen, only very dense foliage. we were assured by the two guides (clad in full on business attire, were talking white button down shirt, slacks and dress shoes (no idea why)) that this hike was most definitely "easy". "only two howa,very easy." ha. as the rains came washing down we start trekking up which, mind you, appears to be a cliff, and it doesn't get any better from there. as they were hacking the brush away (not sweating) we were exchanging weary, "aheh, um, ok are you sure?" faces. sweating like beasts in hell, we scale muddy, sharp treacherous rock faces and equally eat-your-shoes-off muddy lowlands. a personal highlight were the spiders. picture a large rat, then give it eight long, grotesque legs and you have an idea of what was hanging above us. a few had the unfortunate luck of walking through a web. duongz, our more, well, supportive guide, greeted our fear with a hearty laugh, saying that these in fact aren't the scary spiders. (comforting???) then proceeds to flick one of these spider warthogs off a nearby banana leaf and on to a young (fearful), (screaming) australian woman. now, in my mind, if an australian is frightened, we all should be. one problem: we are in the middle of freekin nowhere with only our sweaty selves to clutch. all and all the hike ended well;
that is no major injuries or fatalities and we meet up with a row boat definitely over the "two hour" mark and proceed to the kayaking phase. um, excuse me? did we accidentally step onto the set of a reality tv show? i thought i was gonna chill on the boat at some point? um, no. kayaking we went. beautiful, breathtaking, yada yada yada. we stop on a remote beach where the guides (still not sweating at all) lead us to view a freshly buried body, then in for a quick swim. i head down to the water head hung low, wanting nothing more than to wash the pain and intensity of the day away and relax.
i had a nice moment.
then rody and i, restored to our youthful spirits once again, began to frolic in the waves like children. ahh it was fun!
then rody jumped on top of me, smashing my face in the process and knocked out part of my front tooth. ahh it twas a memorable couple of days.
yes we are on speaking terms and no, he is not allowed to call me snaggle tooth.
we are now in the south, mui ne, where if it doesn't pour buckets of rain, then perhaps the sun can cure me of my irrepressible desire to throw myself into the sea.

north of the DMZ

2005-07-17T05:49:00.000-07:00

much of my background knowledge about vietnam before arriving here came from 'platoon,' 'apocalypse now,' and shootem up-vietnam war video games. all i knew before was our history with the war and its preoccupation with napalming little asians who wore black pajamas. but experiencing the people and culture first hand has been a truly humbling experience.
the food is highly suspicious (very few dogs and cats wandering the streets), hordes of motorbikes are like an overwhelming stampede through the metropolis, but the people are proud, welcoming and very forgiving.

our arrival in hanoi was hot and clammy. the omnipresent socialist aura was permeating, and the motorbikes were clearly the most immediate danger for the vulnerable pedestrian. in contrast to the carefree lifestyle of thailand and lao, the vietnamese were certainly out to make business on us. touts lurk behind every corner, and are constantly hassling us to "go here" and "buy this." and they follow us with incomprehensible determination. we've learned, however, that one 'NO' and a crazed leer gets them off our back. its not rude; just how things work around here.

after settling in, we visited "the ancient temple of literature" which was founded by Confucius a thousand years ago. inside the serene compound there were stelaes with engraved names of graduates from 1100AD. though it was the temple of literature, i didnt see any books... but the koi pond was cool. venturing through the streets, sarah and i paid a visit to the 'hanoi hilton.' this was the infamous prison where american POWs were held during the war. we even saw the toothbrush ole john McCain used during his seven year holiday after being shot down during a bombing raid.
it hasnt taken us long to realize that theres still an underlying animosity between the north and the south (southerners refuse to call their beloved city saigon 'ho chi minh'). but the northerners use their NVA helmets as motorbike head protection, and the red flag with the yellow star flies over every corner and atop major buildings.

after a fine evening watching the traditional water puppet show, sarah and i decided it was time to quit the city and head off to one the highlights of this trip: ha long bay.

ha long bay is probably one of the most beautiful places ive ever seen. nestled in the gulf of tonkin is a massive bay that is mottled with a thousand islands and islets of limestone that jet out of the emerald water like the surreal pillars of chinese landscape paintings. we boarded a junk for a three day excursion deep into the waterways where we explored amazing caverns, kayaked through tunnels into isolated lagoons, and climbed peaks that overlooked indescribable views. we slept on the boat and ate meals of squid and octopus (good for me, complicated for my vegetarian companion). we dove off the top of the junk and swam amid jelly fish... and did a lot of lounging in a paradise that still doesnt seem real to me. but one of the most memorable experiences of ha long bay were our guides: good ole binn and duougz. binn was our guide- the most hospitable and gentle person on the planet. if there is a heaven, this guy is certainly going to be working the front desk. he would bathe us in apologies if i wasnt satisfied with the angle of my reclining deck chair. and duongz the trainee, four feet tall and skinny as a bamboo, learned english just to make jokes. he made me pee my pants every time he opened his mouth. we became buddies, and it was his greatest wish that he and i would karaoke together one day. unfortunately, there wasnt enough vietnamese whiskey to realize this dream...
but though these guys were gentle on the outside, they were hardcore muthas. during our 'death march' through the jungle, they wore their business suits-- not once did they break a sweat; not once did they slip or seem at all fatigued. the rest of us farangs were cut up, muddy, bruised, panting. duongz would flip a spider that was bigger than my dog buckaroo from a leaf and smile-"no problem; is normal nice spider here. hahahahaha." and when i tried to approach a village dog, he would laugh and yell, "hey! dont play with your food. hahahaha." we eventually ended up at the rural residence of a family who had retired to the isolation of the limestone peaks. the couple were both veterans of the war; the older gentleman who gracefully cut papayas for us was missing an eye which had been blown away from the shrapnel of an american bomb. they smiled and smiled and warmly welcomed us... and i felt sickened by the thought of war.. what a waste, what foolishness- shame on humankind. then, while walking along with binn, he reminded me that such conflicts were of the past, that we were of a new generation- that his generation and mine are one that must only look to an optimistic future. we slapped each other on the back and laughed a brotherly laugh.

after the treacherous trek through mud and foliage, we kayaked our way out of the forest and swam around our boat into the evening amid a magical sunset.

back to hanoi, and immediately on a southbound train to the central coast for some R&R. the train ride was first class. all was well watching the countryside slip by until lunch was served. sarah, who wisely kept to her crackers, passed up the train food which i had wolfed down in a carnivorous frenzy. i really dont want to know what it was i ate, but i was on the verge of barfing for a good six hours. we stopped in na trang (the miami of vietnam), got ourselves a refreshing sunburn and now have ventured to the sleepy coastal community of mui ne. looks like we'll settle in to our beach front bungalow for a while here.

we've been rambling on an ambitious journey. but before heading off to saigon and the mekong delta, its time to wash some nasty travel clothes... time to watch the waves roll in... time to sip on tiger beer... and a lot of time to do a lot of nothing.

mai pen rai

2005-07-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

with time and astute observation, i have realized that many a bangkok hired drivers are drunk...either that or crazy, or perhaps, a little of both. they hoon along the bustling, twining exhaust filled intersections at breakneck speed, concentrating their attention mostly on the farang in the backseat, spitteling all over the steering wheel and offering their city's highlights in broken thai/english (laughing all the way). i glance at rody wearily, asking quietly, "how do you say 'scared shitless! please slow down, you psycho drunk guy' in thai?"
it becomes increasingly obvious that they enjoy a brew now and (mostly) again, when they make a pit stop to get more beer. but i am assured over and over again that we westerners are just too uptight and everything will work out as long as you add a "mai pen rai" (roughly meaning, 'its all good') at the end of every encounter or, as it were, frightening experience. im taking to this philosophy, as it seems to work wonders on moral while traveling in the developing world.
rody and i arrived safely in bangkok after an all night (second class) train ride from nong khai. i assure you, as rody did me, the second class/no air conditioning "situation" was indeed, a mistake. eheh heh, um....mai pen rai! right?
yes infact, it was all good, we arrived slighlty more sweaty, but none the less jovial than those silly, extravagant and much less frugal people in first class. we saved money enough to but two huge beers, two plane tickets to hanoi and money enough left over to pay a tuk tuk driver just to stop following us down the street.

the buddha howl

2005-07-06T05:39:00.000-07:00

vang vieng is set along the "song river" amid towering limestone peaks, which are clandestingly mottled with deep caves tangled beneath twisting jungle shrubs. we stayed at a mulberry farm (where i had volunteered my services teaching english five years ago) to recuperate from the pleasently painful river boat adventure. anyway, the food was nothing compared to the culinary extacy of thailand. the landscape was definitely the highlight. sarah and i had planned on lounging along the sandy banks of the song river, watching the sun make its way across the sky... but it rained like the furious flush of god's toilet, and the river was a raging torrent of tree branches and slimy silt porridge. instead, we played cards in a thatched cafe. it didnt take us long to realize that many of these "cafes" specialized in magic mushroom concoctions (fried, bbq, pizza, omellete, you-name-it) and opium teas. in choppy thai language, lao language, and simple english language, i had to reduntantly confirm that sarah's pineapple shake was NOT magical. for me, i contently ate the sober meals... happy that my waned curiousity of youth (and sarah) kept me from a psychodelic dinner.

[laos is a magical land. the people move in slow motion- perhaps the thirty year consequence of an oppresive socialist government. at long last, this particular southeast asian "domino" seems to be easing into a more capitalist mentality. foreign aide sustains much of the industry, and likewise an intensifying work ethic. contrary to my last visit, the red sickle/hammer flag is rarely seen waving alongside the laotian colors. i guess our mass carpet bombing of this tiny nation has finally paid off (fact: laos is the most heavily bombed country on the planet). alas, thirty percent(!) of american ordinance dropped over laos is still left unexploded... which would explain limbless peasants, limited farming and really cool flower boxes made with 500 pound bomb casings.]

leaving the enchanting city of vang vieng, laos was difficult, but the time had come to return to the familiar comforts of smiley thailand. after crossing the border, sarah and i spent several days doing nothing but reading, eating, napping and more reading. (im totally immersed in the epic novel SHOGUN about portugese colonialism amidst the feudal politics of 16th century japan). we've been hiding out in a quaint bungalow on the banks of the mighty mekong in nong khai. the owners are a bunch of new agey expats who have created a peaceful asylum for travel weary farangs like ourselves. they even have toilet paper on the menu!

today, however, was quite an experience. we rented bikes and rode out to an amazing sculpture garden created by a laotian mystic who has become somewhat of an occult legend in this here neck of the woods. surrounded by rice paddies and dense foliage, this man used rebar and cement to mold massive statues of twisted hindu gods and buddha giants. during the decades of his work, he acquired a following who, to this day, maintain this trippy garden. they even worship his mummified body which is lodged in a glass case on the top floor of their warehouse "sala." the body is surrounded by many strange animistic statues and lit by the eerie twinkling of christmas tree lights. sarah and i were quite awed by the spectacle during our private tour by the old and gracious, but fanatic, follower of louang po boun leua sourirat. the old man even showed us a photograph of louang po's bloody vomit before he died. the whole experience was really wierd....

tomorrow, we return to bangkok by train where we'll catch a flight to hanoi for 'mission vietnam.'

though sleeping among the night sounds of nocturnal fauna can be quite soothing, the herds of street mutts emerge to dominate the mornings. and when the monks slam the six AM gong, the dogs of the village howl in a harmonious call to their own canine gods... sleepily reminding us that all life shares equal stake in this reverent land.

how about some sun?

2005-07-02T02:26:00.000-07:00

so, after all of us in california suffered a long, inexhaustible rainy winter, rody and i flew 20 hours on a plane to land in the middle of a swampy, jungley, muddy, rainy mess. oh, did i forget to mention the bugs?( and i mean insecti giganti, i have seen some things creeping and flying around here that you just wouldn't believe). dont get me wrong, this land is breathtaking and the people here humble me with their desolate conditions and their equally and dichotomous smiley faces. but i have to admit the truth; i think i am suffering from SAD (sudden attack of delirium, sucky ass doldrums or, most probably, seasonal affective disorder). i wish this GD rain would go away! all of our brilliantly concocted plans are going to mush and yesterday after a terrifying bus ride up a steep mountain where in which we almost ran over 403 cows, chickens, goats and small naked children, i reached the end of my "wets ends". during this weepy rant of "traveling in the third world sucks! why aren't vacationing in hawaii like everyone else...", rody looked on with the horror of a boyfriend that was about to be falsely accused or hit by his emotionally ill at ease, slightly PMSing girlfriend.
today, i am happy to announce, no one was injured (i took a large valium) and we are drying out our wet clothes and our mildewed brains at a small organic farm that has the most delightful mulberry shakes and fun loving goats. both the goats and the shakes are easing our weariness so we will stay here and convalesce for a couple more days, deep sigh, then off for more traveling fun. what lies ahead i cant say (or don't want to) but what i can say is that i am with my best friend, seeing amazing things, creating memories for a lifetime and it cant get much worse than this!

ring of fire

2005-06-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

the last few days have been incredibly long and intense. we took the slow boat (very very slow boat) down the mekong river deep into the heart of laos. it was a two day endeavor that involved sitting on ass-bruising, wooden benches packed like sardines on a rickety tub. we were literally in the middle of no where, precariously maneuvering through jagged rocks amid the indescribable beauty of a mountainous river valley. herds of water buffalo waded on the shores and precipitous cliffs jutted from the luxuriant jungle. thatched villages and stilted huts were sporadically scattered along the banks and happily thrived with little more than what could be grown or caught- there, "civilization" seemed far overrated.
our boat was a beautiful piece of junk. we broke down several times, but it was an expected part of the journey. at one point, a huge wave of diesel fumes ascended from the engine (all passengers were immediately recommended to extinguish cigarettes), which forced us to beach on a sandbar. these involuntary landings were actually nice for a little stretch to break the rigor mortis out of the ole sea legs. i remember it being quite serene immersed in the dense jungle, watching the bloated carcasse of pig gently floating downstream. after an hour or two of banging, clanking and yelling in the hull of the ship, we were off for another few hours before the next breakdown. nevertheless, i must say- cheers to those nifty laotians, and what they can do with a strip of inner tube, plastic twine, a shoulder shrug and a huge smile!
the first night of the river trip was certainly a nightmare to remember. we stopped in pakbeng village for a meal and a sleep before an early morning departure. unfortunately, a trio of very youthful brits found this location a particularly good place to get thoroughly enebriated. their cackling laughter, incomprehensible cockney and tearful retching kept the entire hamlet awake until 3:00AM... until an american couple next door screamed, in very passionate language, for silence- (many of us gratefully shook their hands over breakfast the next morning). but the drunken fiasco was just the beginning... just before falling asleep, we heard thumping patter of scurrying on the walls and floor all around us. and it wasnt the dainty pitter-patter of cute gecko lizards. this was jurassic. i immediately gripped the mosquito net down tight and told sarah to go find out what it was.
we eventually found a little light (no electricity in town) and were delighted to see giant rats in our room. we crawled under the dirty sheets and prayed theyd go away. but no, the rats found our bag of cookies, dragged it off the table and under our bed where they ravaged them until early dawn. it was like a feeding frenzy of demon rodents from hell beneath our pillows. sarah and i gripped each other in terror until dawn... twitching and with blood shot eyes.
anyway, we've made it to luang prabang- a nice french colonial city in the middle of the country. the realities of third world travel have finally kicked in. ive been on the toilet every hour and sarah is battling comatose exhaustion. ill spare the details, but its been the primary topic of conversation and compassion between me and my trooper companion lately.
off to vang vieng tomorrow for some low key living.

shopping fools

2005-06-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

let's just get strait to the point:
today, i saw new sides of rody that were well, new to me.
#1. Rody got a fully naked, full body, thai oil massage. (in front of me no less). (he can give you the details about just how thorough the massure was).
#2. Giddy upon finishing his quite, ahem, "in depth" massage, he then proceeded to want to spend money....frivilously!!! we went from vendor to vendor snatching up crafts like we were ants at a picnic.
#3. We have had a great experience in chiang mai; some moments soothing, some funny, some intriguing and some even shocking (see #1).

get naked?

2005-06-26T04:37:00.000-07:00

chiang mai (northern city of thailand) has been a thoroughly cultural and much more temperate experience. the mountain spirits in the high country look favorably on mortals by sheltering us from the saturating plague of relentless humidity and ceaseless heat waves. and, contrary to the lusty go-go clubs and fast-paced mayhem of bangkok, this gentle metropolis offers more intellectual opportunities for the native experience through a plethora of book shops, culinary diversity and the art of thai massage.
yes, thai massage...
sarah has been on a militant mission to experience the infamous luxury of the thai massage. i, on the other hand, would rather spend $6.32 (cost of a massage per hour) on a beer and twelve pineapples. but, in honor of my sacred vow to "compromise" prior to our trip, i shelled out the cash for this rub-a-dub-dub business so many people hoon about; i submitted myself to the groping hands of a stranger simply to keep the peace on this little journey of ours.

and WHOOA MAMA!! thai lady took us to the secret dungeon and ordered me to take off my underpants. i giggled and squirmed.. but succumbed. luckily, sarah was there to protect my honor. then thai lady went to work on corpus boonchouyus- she kneaded, gripped, pulled, punched, cracked, bent, pinned and dominated every centimeter of my body... except for my "special purpose"(barely). she even tore off the peeling skin from my koh chang sunburn! i was completely paralyzed throughout the process. in the end, i think they wheelbarrowed me out of the joint. ...it was good.

the rest of the day sarah and i meandered through the street markets. since i was still moderately incompacitated from the massage, i bought everything she pointed at. now we have a truckload of goods to haul around for the next four weeks. but heck, we really needed the steel hill-tribe headdress and the five foot long elephant painting.

tomorrow we're off to landlocked laos. we will attempt slow boat transport through the mountain jungle. many adventures await us there.. all the while, sarah will be wearing a steel headdress.

much cooler, but a little hotter

2005-06-23T05:45:00.000-07:00

surrounded by verdant rice paddies and smiley thais, the north is a breath of fresh air after the congestion of urban bangkok. sarah and i spent last night in phitsanoluk: a small city along the flowing banks of a voluptuous monsoon river - in thai, the word 'river' literally translates to 'mother water.' in the evening there is a night market full of trendy wear and teenage gossip, but our water-side dinner and casual stroll through the market stalls was amusing... and even a little romantic (though i did get my masculine fix when trying out the large selection of switch blades from the kungfu vendor). interestingly, phitsanoluk's claim to fame is "the flying vegetable": a farang puts on a broccoli hat, stands on a pedestal twenty meters from the sizzling wok and catches his/her vegetable dish from a pitching cook. no traditional or cultural significance... just a silly spectacle to break up the monotony of normalcy. anyway, i got it on video.

today was an educational and aesthetic experience of thai history. sarah and i bicycled the ancient ruins of sukothai: the capital of thailand about 800 years ago. despite contending with ravenous snakes and man-eating ants (my feet are still swollen from those little bastards), we picnic-ed on banana bread and warm bottled water in the shadow of the buddha... i almost felt oneness with the universe until a monstrous dragonfly burrowed into my hair.

before leaving the old city, sarah and i wandered into the vegetable bazaar simply for the shade. sarah found a pair of rubber sandels (fifty cents) to replace her blowout at koh chang. with her new bright red flipflops, sarah's looking more and more thai- not to mention her astonishingly brilliant acquisition of the thai language. we also picked up a kilo of rambutan fruits, which are quite sweet, but unfortunately bear a striking resemblance to... well, hairy scrodums.
in the end, we took a tsongtow (pickup truck with seats in the bed) back to town. on the way, the driver picked up a mob of school children who, as in traditional thai society, were respectfully clad in dapper uniforms and clinging to armfuls of books. though glad to be far from the tedious demands of my job, i couldnt help, just a little, missing the daily rewards of academia and the impressionable minds of happy kids... but i'll find plenty of that come the end of august.

sit back and enjoy

2005-06-23T05:40:00.000-07:00

for the last week i have watched rody steadily increase his thai vocabulary from "thank you " and "hello" to having in depth conversations with the locals. we're talkin "where's this, what's that? i need to get here, how are you? can you make my girlfriend something to eat without anything you have on the menu in it?" i however, am not that talented or brave and often my quiet, meek "mai gao chai" (i don't understand what the heck you're saying) has to do the trick. i just smile and nod politely and add in "ahh, song roy, very good price!" rody seems to enjoy this aspect of travel, so why fight it! i am getting the numbers one through ten down nicely and next week i will work on the phrase "life is good". thai people are so kind and unbelievably helpful, they often go out of their way to understand what "we" are saying, also helping us speak the rudimentary tones of the thai language....although, on occasion, they just make fun of you, (in thai of course). today, after accomplishing the huge feat of finding the "bus station" (more like a little shop that sells tickets among other necessities) rody proudly strolls up to the counter and says "hello, two air conditioned bus tickets please" and the whole group of people just look at each other and sputter back " air condition! haaa, you so funny, air condition! hoo hoo hoo! ah hee hee hee! and then proceed to laugh and chit chat about the two silly americans who refuse to acknowledge that their sweat glands exist. the bus driver seemed the most thrilled with our little, ahem, mistake. well, me, i was annoyed and embarrassed but rody, he just laughed along with them.
after getting on and off four buses of varying sizes, shapes and safety standards, rody and i arrived at the "old city" of sukothai. this was once the capital city and now house many a beautiful monument to thai, khmer, buddhist and even hindu culture. the national park, the size of a city is far to large to be a foot for long and due to the sunny and don't forget, balmy weather, we decided to make our own breeze by mounting two trusty-rusty bicycles for rent and went shooshing through the ruins. a few clips down the busy road we realized that we had no brakes and my handlebars only turned one way but who cares! this is thailand and safety standards are to be left at the threshold. back to the ruins, they were neat. lots of huge buddhas, stupas and temple ruins. sad to say, our highlight of the day was not the ruins themselves or even the frightening and profuse amount of sweat i left on the bike seat upon returning it, alas, it was this scary green snake that we saw attack a huge lizard. i dunno, it was just really cool (and sad). i wont forget the ruins either, but that snake was very creepy....i hope its not in my bed tonight.
s

onward north where it rains not!

2005-06-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

the island of koh chang was a giddy taste of paradise. sarah and i browner than toasted saltines. it rained twice a day, but the sunshine in between was a heavenly fix. we would huddle in our palm frawn hut like vigilant rollypollies during the downpour, and then scurry to the white sand beach in the three hour long sigh of tropical extacy (between noon and four oclock to be exact). damage report thus far is minimal: one blown-out flip flop and moderate mildew on my wet swim trunks.

back in bangkok amid the farang (thai for "gringo") decadence, but sarah and i are off tomorrow for the ancient ruins of sukothai in the north. there, the weather should be more temperate. despite the intense humidity, we've found that the four showers a day keeps a body sane and hygenic. One's greatest fear in such an environment is fungal growth in the toes and other personal regions.

our excursion so far has been much more fulfilling, and even enlightening, than expected. ive found that my drive for youthful debauchery has wilted into a spent pupa; no more screaming headstands on liquor sloshed bars. yes, deep engagement in classic literature while next to my yoga-occupied companion brings all the thorough delight my soul desires (though a few singha beers does make my carl sagan novel a little more profound).
nevertheless, it's liberating traveling like a middle class american (alas, admitting one's american nationality overseas must be done judiciously in this day and age... oh, the disadvantages of imperialism). my years of traveling like a rambling gutter rat are no longer appealing- ive succumbed, much to the persuasion of lovely sarah, to air conditioned rooms and chickenless buses. in humility, i admit a newfound infatuation for AC.

now i must shower

week one

2005-06-18T20:40:00.000-07:00

Arriving in Bangkok was like walking into a steamy sauna scented with tuktuk exhaust and fish soup. Unfortunately, I immediately ticked off the taxi driver from the airport by skimping on the toll road (90 cents) which would have avoided miles of midnight deadlock. Once we arrived to the infamous, hippy infested Koa San road at one in the morning, I convinced Sarah that a two dollar/night, dark alley motel would be an endearing introduction to our budget adventure. Alas, it turned out to be a quaint prison cell atop a bumping 24hour disco- it was almost bearable until we realized that our personal potty room didnt accept poopoo deposits. Thank god for Ambien!

Bangkok in June is ridiculously hot. Contrary to our expectations, it wasnt raining though. We desperately wanted to leave for a more tropical locale, but there were still visa, money and other logistics that needed attending. We moved to another hotel that costed a whole dollar more- this one had a fan that reduced my heat rash about 10%! Attempting to sleep was miserable; we passed out in a pool of sweat around noon (time change...) and awoke for dinner about two in the morning. Two in the morning on Kao San road is drunken, farang, freak festival- minibuses converted into mobile bars and lady boys looking for a little love (500 baht/hour). and in the middle of the puke and mayhem, sober Sarah and I politely sipping on noodle soup for dinner.
we love Thailand... at least away from the spectacle of foreigner heathens.

ko chang

2005-06-18T20:38:00.000-07:00

so here we are in beautiful ko chang...(after suffering two nights in steamy, smelly, unforgettable bangkok). we got on a very slow bus and headed southeast, then took a ferry to this lovely island. how is it you ask? well, um, not to complain or anything but its hot and humid! however, we can go swimming in the ocean when ever we want to! In addition to the ever so warm weather, there are mosquitoes galore. we're talking big fat mean buggers! it doesn't help that we are going super hippy budget, therefore we are lodged at this very down home (yes rugged and moist) place where the hut roofs leak when it rains in the afternoons and our bathing facility is well, yucky. dont tell rody i said that! i am being a team player...puh! back to the bathing, we wash ourselves with a bowl that we ever so carefully dip into a vat of larvae infested water, i squeeze my eyes shut tight as i pour it on me and scrub scrub scrub to make the sweat and dirt go away...for about 5 minutes. ahh, what a beautiful place....did i mention the sweet (expensive) luxury (expensive) accommodations just a wee bit down the beach? oh, good, well we wont talk about that because rody and i have decided that disagreeing is what we are saving for week two. we have to have something to talk about!
as you may well know, i am just making fun of our less than desirable aspects of travel. all and all we are truly having a wonderful, relaxing time. the water is turquoise (not in the shower vat) the food is delicious and the company of my love, rody, well it just cant be beat. we will "chill and vibe out" here (there are some major backpacker "types" here!) for a few more days, then head back to fragrant bangkok to catch a bus down near the malaysian border where we plan to sunbathe, snorkel, shop and perhaps get jihaded.
much love and stuff,
sarah

i thought you had the tickets!

2005-06-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

After a year of planning, Sarah and I leave tomorrow for an epic tour of exotic southeast asia. Traveling light has been a primary objective; we've packed only one small carry-on each... so now, amid the frenzy of leaving, when we feel that something is missing, we confidently know that it is.